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Sunday, August 10, 2003
Hey friends and family... I have a new journal now. And all of you who care can add me... it's going to be a mostly friends only so I will add all of my dearer friends so they can see it. There won't be any communities on it just me updating... I will try and do more updating since I have it... if I don't... feel free to smack me a couple times.
My new journal : loveyone
Love you guys, Cara
Current mood:  creative Current music: Pink
Friday, August 1, 2003
Okay so as my subject says... I am flippin' happy. God, I have never felt as loved by a single person then I am with Genesis. *sighs dreamilly* So utterly happy and in love. I'm saving up my money that I am getting from work so I can buy myself one of those costly plane tickets and fly my happy ass down to the great state of Texas. Nummy.
He is the first guy I've been able to trust. Trust with all of my heart. oOoOo *dances* I have nothing at all else to mention
Current mood:  ecstatic
( Read more... )
Current mood: creative Current music: Matchbox twenty
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
**WARNING* Sexually explicite themes **WARNING**
( fun )
Saturday, July 12, 2003
So for the past couple of days I have been house sitting ... oh joy... I got so bored today that I called up my mom and we went and saw a movie... Mother Daughter time... we saw the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Well, yeah it was a GREAT movie... except the ending pissed me off... yeah ... but it was hella good. You should go see it. Yeah you, the one who is actually reading one of those few entries where I actually put something in my journal besides quizzes and survey junk.
So yeah I haven't talked to Tommy since he left for his dad's house on the 5th. So sad. I wrote him a letter a couple of weeks ago... I don't think it will ever get to him though for two reasons...first and most importantly I really need to get his address to send him a letter ( you know it is one of those major essentials to sending snail mail, or any type of mail, you always need a address) umm... and secondly I am a wimp. One huge wimp... who has NEVER been kissed... falls in love with people who I have never met before. *sighs* well yeah that is me. Oh well, I am just a 16 year old girl who has yet to live her life to the fullest. I will have a happily ever after like in the fairy tales. Yeah, yeah. You are probably thinking I have my head in the clouds. Well, maybe I do.
My love life sucks. I have never been on a date...I used to blame it on being overprotective ( and honestly, I like being overprotected. *smiles* Because that way I know my family cares, I know they don't want me to get hurt. And I am glad I have the parents that I have. I love them. And everyone else does too. I don't know many people who have met my parents and said anything bad about them. They are there to help. And they have no idea how much I treasure that help. Or that love. Or anything that they give to me) ...where was I? Oh yeah why my love life sucks... no one notices me... Is it my fault? Maybe. Maybe I am not what the guys want. Maybe I just haven't opened my eyes to see the guys who do like me. I know I am not the ideal for most hormone-driven teenage boys, but maybe for one guy I am.
Then we get into the infamous romantic statement. Soul mates. Do I believe in soul mates? Sure, I do. Maybe not like you do, but I do believe that there is one person you are meant to be with. But I also believe that through your life you are going to love many people before you find that one person. Or maybe, the first person you really love is your soul mate... and the people you go through and think you love are just practice before you meet the one.
Love, what do I think of love. I think it leaves you breathless. I know that sounds like romance novel cliché but that isn't all I think of it. It leaves you breathless, the one you love will come into your world and give you the world. They will make you laugh. Make you smile even on the grayest of days. He will help you through any of your trials and tribulations. He will hold you up so you can reach any star you want to wish upon. He will help you reach your wishes and make them come true. He will help you reach your goals. He will be everything you have ever wished for. He will be someone you can trust with your deepest secrets. He will love you and cherish you. And when you are old and wrinkled he will be able to look at you and say ''here is my queen'' (thanks for that from Prince Charming). *sighs* Love, what do I think of love? Easy, it's perfection in a world that isn't perfect.
I mentioned trust earlier. Something I have in few people. My parents, my brother, my family in general. Most of them at least. My friends, some of them have my trust, but not many. Boyfriends, you ask, what about your boyfriends? Do you trust them? The answer to that would have to be yes and no. There is only one guy that I have been able to trust. And I don't even know if I am actually with him. Weird, that I can trust a guy that I am romantically involved with on the computer, someone I have never met, yet I give him my heart. It's on my sleave. I know the consequenses. And I wonder everyday if he does the same. That is how close to trust in guys I get. In people outside of my family. That is what my trust is. So what made my trust in people so low? I don't honestly know. There isn't a reason, I guess. Online boyfriends, who dump me for other girls. Who refuse to talk to me at any point with civil conversation, after we break up. Hah, who decided that after you break up with someone that you can 'just be friends'. Who thought that up anyways? You can't just be friends with an ex. You have already been more. You have ruined it, tainted it with something you once had and will always remember. The good times and bad. Yeah.
So yeah. I spend my time here, while house sitting, thinking. About life, love, friends, the camping trip we are supposed to have, if we can find a male chaperone so we can actually have guys come with us while we go camping, and whether or not my heart will be broken again.
Money, that's another thing that I have been thinking of. All the money I get this summer, or at least most of it, will be put in the bank for what ever I will need it. Money lately has seemed important, but not as important as it used to be. I want to save it now. And last year, what ever money I got was spent when I got it. I would walk into a a store and want everything . Last year, I worked, got money and I now I don't know where that money went to. Funny there was a lot of money and I only remember buying a couple things with it. Now a days, I want to save, I no longer want everything when I walk in a store. I have grown up. I have learned how important money is. You need it to get what you need. Food, clothes, a home. Right now, my parents use their money to support me. And I happy. And when it comes to the day when I will need to support myself, I will know that I have proudly learned the importance of what money means.
I know a couple things I want to save up for. Trips, mostly, to various places. Like : Ireland, Angleton Texas, England, New York (again), and a few other places. Hopefully when I have a stable career and life I will have enough money saved up to buy some land and build a small little farm-type house and have the pets I want: dogs, horses, birds, cats, and soooo many more animals. It won't be your typical farm. I just want a small medium type land, where my animals will have room to run and live almost freely. And when I eventually get married and have a family I will have a home for them. The guy might not want to live in a house I have made. But I truly believe that maybe it will happen. And we will have what we want. Love. Trust. A family. Home. Like the one my parents have given me. Something my kids will cherish as much as I do now.
This would have to be one of my longest entries of just babble. Of talk that doesn't really go in any particular order. *laughs* I wrote this like I write my stories and poetry. I am just 'going with the flow'.
Well yeah it's a quarter to 11 and I am freaking tired. So I am going to let the dog out and put her in the kennel and hit the sack. Oh, get money and go spend it on a movie. See The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. Very good movie. Or rent some movies and see The Wedding Planner, You've Got Mail, For the Love of the Game, Hope Floats, Ever After, Gone With the Wind, Interview With the Vampire, or any other good movie like that. Have a good night and I will talk to you all later or what not.
Cara
Current mood:  thoughtful Current music: some random music
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Tuesday, July 8, 2003
Monday, July 7, 2003
( bedtime )
Maybe not 40 something... I closed a lot of the quizzes because I am so tired and I don't think I can last much longer.
Current mood:  drained
Saturday, July 5, 2003
**edit: took it off...didn't want to spoil
Current mood: creative
Tuesday, July 1, 2003
So yeah I downloaded Trillian so I have all my lists put on there...so if I don't have any of you on my lists (MSN, AIM, ICQ, Yahoo!) then comment with your name if you want me to add you.
So I called Tommy this morning...ooo boy oh boy...his voice is so perfect...god how I love him...mmhmm...makes me drool hearing his voice...
So I burned a few cds a couple days ago...I don't remember which ones they were but what ever...
got new icons...fun fun
well I am going to go and play...heh
Cara
Current mood:  crazy
Monday, June 30, 2003
||1|| Guitar or Drum Player - Ooh. That's hard. Guitar.
||2|| Skater or Surfer - Neither...
||3|| Brown or Blue Eyes - Sucker for blue eyes
||4|| Blonde or Brunette - dun care
||5|| Brains or Looks (Be honest!) - I use the term 'personality'.
Girls -
||6|| Tease or Slut -
||7|| Blonde or Brunette -
||8|| Brown or Blue Eyes -
||9|| Boobs or Butt -
||10|| Actress or Singer -
Food -
||11|| Hamburger or Hotdog - neither
||12|| Pie or Cake - Hmm. Pie.
||13|| Apple or Banana - Banana...hah...no I like either
||14|| Coke or Pepsi - Don't care for either of them.
||15|| Chicken or Beef - either
||16|| Oreos or Chips Ahoy - x.X! Can't choose.
||17|| Pancakes or Waffles - Waffles.
||18|| Chocolate or Vanilla - Vanilla.
||19|| Strawberry or Cherry - Strawberry, hands down.
||20|| Watermelon or Cantaloupe - Canteloupe.
||21|| Potato or Macaroni Salad - neither
||22|| Wheat or White - either
||23|| Tic Tacs or Altoids - either
||24|| Sausage or Bacon - Hmm.. Sausage.
||25|| Sour Cream and Chive or BBQ - Barbeque.
Sports -
||26|| Baseball or Football - baseball
||27|| Swim or Track - Swimming.
||28|| Tennis or Golf - Geezus both are just watching people hitting things.
||29|| Skiing or Sledding - I can sled. I'd probably kill myself if I skied.
||30|| Bicycling or Jogging - either is fun
Stores/Restaurants -
||31|| McDonalds or Burger King - neither
||32|| JC Penny's or Sears - JC Penny
||33|| Walmart or Target - Walmart
||34|| Trophy's or TGI Fridays - never been to either
||35|| Albertson's or Vons - neither?
Clothes -
||36|| Pants or Shorts - dun care
||36|| Zip-Up or Pull-Over Sweatshirt - pull over
||37|| Sandals or Tennis Shoes - Tennis shoes.
||38|| Dresses or Skirts - skirts
||40|| Print or Solid - Solid.
Names -
||41|| Bob or Bill - BOB!
||42|| Jessica or Jennifer - Jessica.
||43|| Aaron or Erin - Aaron
||44|| Carrie or Kari - Kari.
||45|| Todd or Tom - Tom.
||46|| Lynn or Lee - Lee.
||47|| Sarah or Susie - Sarah.
||48|| Jack or John - John.
||49|| Lisa or Linda- Lisa.
||50|| Matt or Nick- Matt.
Music -
||51|| Punk or Rock - Rock.
||52|| Country or Bubble Gum Pop - God those are the two evils.
||53|| Rap or Techno - Rap.
||54|| Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera - Aguilera.
||55|| *N Sync or Backstreet Boys - BSB.
||56|| Korn or Staind - Staind.
||57|| Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park -Linkin Park.
||58|| Guitar or Drums - Guitar.
||59|| Piano or Violin - Gah that's not fair. Piano.
||60|| CDs or Radio - CDs!
TV -
||61|| Dawson's Creek or 7th Heaven - 7th Heaven
||62|| Angel or Buffy the Vampire Slayer - o.o?! That's cruel. But ah, gotta say, hands down - Buffy.
||63|| Law and Order or The Practice - Law and Order... though I haven't seen The Practice so I can't really choose between two
||64|| Spy TV or Candid Camera - Candid Camera..
||65|| Smallville or Charmed - Charmed...Leo is damn sexy
Cinema -
||66|| Bruce Willis or Kevin Costner - Bruce Willis.
||67|| Jennifer Love Hewitt or Neve Campbell - Neve!
||68|| Aladdin or Lion King - Aladdin.
||69|| Snow White or Sleeping Beauty - Sleeping Beauty
||70|| Comedy or Drama - Hmm. Like a mix of both.
||71|| Horror or Science Fiction - Sci-fi.
||72|| Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer - Scream.
||73|| Not Another Teen Movie or Scary Movie - Neither.
||74|| Titanic or Pearl Harbor- Pearl Harbor
||75|| The Mask or Ace Ventura - Mask.
Computer/Video Games -
||76|| AOL or MSN - MSN
||77|| Dogpile or Google - Google.
||78|| Mac or PC - PC definitely.
||79|| PS2 or N64 - PS2!
||80|| Mario Brothers or Zelda - MARIOOOO!
School -
||81|| Pen or Pencil - Pen.
||82|| English or History - English.
||83|| Math or Science - Science.
||84|| Home Economics or Woodshop - Home Economics
||85|| Backpack or Messenger Bag - Backpack I guess. the hell is a messenger bag? -- oh, those. Um. Yeah. Backpack.
Animals -
||86|| Cat or Dog - Dog.
||87|| Fish or Hamster - Hammie. =x
||88|| Tiger or Lion - Tiger.
||89|| Butterfly or Lady Bug - butterfly.
||90|| Seals or Otters - Otters.
Products -
||91|| Tide or Gain - There's a difference? X.X
||92|| Herbal Essences or Suave - used both, got the same outcome. Doesn't matter to me.
||93|| Dove or Irish Spring - Irish Spring
||94|| A-JAX or 409 - 409 I..guess..
||95|| Crest or Colgate - Colgate.
Other -
||96|| John Saul or Steven King - neither...Tolkien <333 < -- Whoever put this, you rule.
||97|| Chocolate or Roses - Roses...they last longer :-P
||98|| Toyota or Ford - Toyota.
||99|| Paper or Plastic - Plastic. (` Save a tree! Eat a beaver. `)
||100|| Necklace or Bracelet - Necklace.
( Surveys )
Current mood:  mischievous Current music: I'm Glad
( Coffee )
Current mood:  horny
Sunday, June 29, 2003
Sunday, June 22, 2003
So yeah last night was the engagement party...it was lots of fun...hung out with some people I haven't seen in awhile...had a couple drinks...(one with dinner and one before dinner) ...god I swear these people are trying to make me an alcoholic...bleh it doesn't make it better that Dad said I could have the first one and David just gave me the second one to go with the steak we cooked...oh well ...people know my limits... half those people there have had, in some way or another, raised me...I have a huge extended family...and I love them all...I've got about 5 dads, 10 or so moms and a few sisters that are not in any which way or form related to me... it was fun teasing Jackie and Pat who said they would never get married ... oh well we're proud of them...
well yeah I am going to be doing nothing today...I was going to call Genesis again today...but the phone is in Seattle :P so unless I had money and a phone card calling is a far off from happening... oh well... *pouts*
So I am hoping to get my license next month sometime..Yippee... actually I'm not to excited for it... all I know is that I'll be doing alot to pay back my parents for my car that they're going to get me... lot's of errands for my parents...
So yeah, in July I am going to be busy as fuck...I start working for dad and Mischelle again on the 1st and then I have to house sit the 10th through the 13th and then we are hoping that we get to go camping on the 16th to some date after it... (we were supposed to go this weekend ...but in the infamous words of Terry Goodkind, "People are Stupid")
To those people that I was being really bitchy at ...Sorry ... My head was on thoughts that were pissing me off... would elaborate on that but...hell if you know me well enough you'll figure the basic outline...
So I have to either write a poem for Jackie for her wedding or find one of mine that fits her...it's become tradition for me to give a poem to the bride-to-be . Hey I like writing, why not...
So my uncle is moving to the Seattle area around the first...I'll miss him...he's my book buddy and he's been helping me alot with preparing stuff already for college...I'll miss him ...
Bleh... so I don't know what else to write about so I guess I'll go see if moms up to playing more crib...
Love you all,
Cara
Current mood: predatory Current music: Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous- Good Charlotte
Saturday, June 21, 2003
So yeah we just got back from the Harry Potter party at Hastings...an HOUR waiting in line to get a book...fun times...but yeah we got it and ten other books for a new series for us crazy people here at my house... yikes we are eating up fantasy series like a lion eats antelope....haha
Well yeah it's almost one and I am tired...yeah so I am going to go and hit the sack...
Current mood: drained
Friday, June 20, 2003
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Current mood:  cranky Current music: The Remedy
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